Let's talk about obsession.
An obsession is one of those things that I can't seem to get out of my head. It follows me everywhere I go. Something that my brain, which has been trained to analyze and relate, connects with every sound that I hear, scent that I smell, image that I see. Obsession is that song that I can't get out of my head, that jittery over excited feeling of a crush, and that desire to fully immerse myself in whatever I am obsessing over.
For example, there is this song. I can't get it out of my head. I can't listen to it loud enough. I wish that there was a pool of this song that I could jump into and for those 3 minutes and 37 seconds, I could forget myself and exist within those beautiful melodies.
But instead I wander around my house, earbud in one ear, bobbing my head up and down and lip syncing. Needless to say I've gotten some pretty strange looks from the family (I'm home for Christmas break).
One of the most frustrating parts of an obsession, besides the sheer annoyance of feeling like there is something else controlling my thoughts, is that there is no relief. I want whatever I am obsessing about so much that it almost hurts. And no matter how much I listen to that song, or watch that show, etc., it doesn't make things better. I get excited, I feel happy, and then I'm back in that place of wanting more.
Obsessions make my life more exciting. They give me something to focus on and something to look forward to. But at the same time, they keep me chained in one place for too long. They prevent me from focusing on things that really matter, and enjoying moments in my life that have nothing to do with the object of my attention.
AGW
Monday, December 20, 2010
Monday, October 25, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Computer Crash :(
My poor Teresio is in a coma. He's a pretty old Toshiba, as laptops go (4 years), but he's been a great pal. Thankfully he can be fixed (at least that's what they tell me, and after some investigation, that seems to be the case). It's been weird not having a computer, and it makes skyping in to morning meditation at 6am rather difficult. My housemates have been lovely enough to leave a computer out for me to grab in the wee hours of the morning.
Needless to say, I'm unbelievably excited for my parents to come for Parent's Weekend (they get here tomorrow) so that my dad can perform the necessary surgical procedures on my beloved laptop. Unfortunately, that won't help me write my politics paper tonight. For now I'm stuck on a rented laptop, running Windows XP, from the Whitman Tech people. The slowness of the computer is making it hard to do research - it takes about 2 minutes for each PDF to fully load. Hence the blogging.
Hopefully there will be a new post coming soon on Hypothetical Happenings with Historical Figures about Angela Merkel, but that probably won't happen until this weekend (at the very earliest).
Well that's all for now!
AGW
Needless to say, I'm unbelievably excited for my parents to come for Parent's Weekend (they get here tomorrow) so that my dad can perform the necessary surgical procedures on my beloved laptop. Unfortunately, that won't help me write my politics paper tonight. For now I'm stuck on a rented laptop, running Windows XP, from the Whitman Tech people. The slowness of the computer is making it hard to do research - it takes about 2 minutes for each PDF to fully load. Hence the blogging.
Hopefully there will be a new post coming soon on Hypothetical Happenings with Historical Figures about Angela Merkel, but that probably won't happen until this weekend (at the very earliest).
Well that's all for now!
AGW
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Early Morning Meditation
Wide awake at 7am with my prayer shawl strewn across my bed - what's that all about?
Wiggling, itching, and breathing characterized my introduction to this day. Today was the first of many meditation sessions via skype. It's part of a meditation class that my mom and I are attending (other than last night's meeting, I'm pretty much only attending the skype sessions since Walla Walla is so far away). Turns out I was the only one who showed up. Mom had a migraine and decided to skip this session, and I didn't have my webcam/microphone with me so it was pretty much just the rabbi talking to himself at the beginning and the end while I awkwardly typed my responses. Also, IMing with a rabbi? Weird.
Were were supposed to focus on a mantra for this meditation. He had already supplied us with a few, but the two I moved between were the Sh'ma and Modah, Ani L'faneicha. Now, I'm used to Buddhist meditation where we are told to try to clear our mind, and while I definitely struggle with that, I seemed to have a bit of trouble with focusing on a mantra as well. The words proved to be a bit distracting. My mind wanted to clear itself and just be, but I kept coming back to these words. Words that seemed to be more of a roadblock than a shortcut. I'm wondering if in the future I should start by trying to clear my mind, and once I have gotten to that calm, familiar place, then try to add the words in.
I will be interested to see how things change over the course of this week. I will also be interested to see if things will be different when I am back in my meditational space at school, rather than in a makeshift space in my room at home that is currently crowded by the addition of an extra bed frame and mattress. I swear, every time I come home, something new is being stored in my room. I'm hoping there isn't a fire, because it's pretty difficult to open my door without some serious finagling.
Anyway, that's pretty much all for now. I'm headed back to school today after a 4-day break, so my next post will likely be coming to you from Walla Walla.
AGW
Wiggling, itching, and breathing characterized my introduction to this day. Today was the first of many meditation sessions via skype. It's part of a meditation class that my mom and I are attending (other than last night's meeting, I'm pretty much only attending the skype sessions since Walla Walla is so far away). Turns out I was the only one who showed up. Mom had a migraine and decided to skip this session, and I didn't have my webcam/microphone with me so it was pretty much just the rabbi talking to himself at the beginning and the end while I awkwardly typed my responses. Also, IMing with a rabbi? Weird.
Were were supposed to focus on a mantra for this meditation. He had already supplied us with a few, but the two I moved between were the Sh'ma and Modah, Ani L'faneicha. Now, I'm used to Buddhist meditation where we are told to try to clear our mind, and while I definitely struggle with that, I seemed to have a bit of trouble with focusing on a mantra as well. The words proved to be a bit distracting. My mind wanted to clear itself and just be, but I kept coming back to these words. Words that seemed to be more of a roadblock than a shortcut. I'm wondering if in the future I should start by trying to clear my mind, and once I have gotten to that calm, familiar place, then try to add the words in.
I will be interested to see how things change over the course of this week. I will also be interested to see if things will be different when I am back in my meditational space at school, rather than in a makeshift space in my room at home that is currently crowded by the addition of an extra bed frame and mattress. I swear, every time I come home, something new is being stored in my room. I'm hoping there isn't a fire, because it's pretty difficult to open my door without some serious finagling.
Anyway, that's pretty much all for now. I'm headed back to school today after a 4-day break, so my next post will likely be coming to you from Walla Walla.
AGW
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Religion? Oy Vey.
These are interesting times to be a Christian. These are even more interesting times to be a Christian who is embracing the Jewish faith. We are living in a time of increased politicization among right wing evangelical Christians and a time of growing Islamophobia in our nation, and in our world.
It's no wonder that people harbor such hatred for the Christian faith. I hate to admit it, but I definitely talk shit about my fellow Christians. In fact, I dislike to recognize them as practicing the same faith that I do -- their Christianity doesn't look like my Christianity. Hell, even the term "Christian" burns me like acid. The name Jesus makes me cringe. And yet, this is a faith that I belong to and willingly except. It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?
I suppose I would call myself a follower of Jesus. He's definitely not the one I take issue with. He had some pretty good things to say. So what do I call myself? A Follower of He Who Must Not Be Named? You Know Who? I feel like Harry Potter is going to jump out and accuse me of being a Death Eater.
But sometimes, that's what it feels like. Simply because I am an Episcopalian, because I grew up hearing stories about That Guy, we'll call him יֵשׁ֡וּעַ (Jeshua), I am associated with that dirty word. That word that means hellfire and brimstone. That word that means intolerance and ignorance. That word that means just plain stupidity for even thinking there was something else out there.
Now don't get me wrong, I am under no illusions that I am being or have even been persecuted for my faith. The plight of the Jewish and the Muslim people of the world is no where near comparable to my own.
So where do I stand? How do I deal with this small scale misunderstanding that, regardless of its size, seems to eat me to the core? What do I do when I am told that all Christians are just really bad Jews who do good deeds only so that they can get to heaven? What do I do when someone randomly points out to me that as a Muslim, they can practice Jewish rituals, but that Christian ones are completely off limits, and one of the worst things a Muslim can take part in?
To those who fear me or hate me because I am a Christian, I say: I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BE CHRISTIAN! I DON'T EVEN EXPECT YOU TO BE RELIGIOUS! Believe in something, don't believe in something, that's up to you. But please don't try to single me out because my beliefs are different that yours.
I am simultaneously practicing Christianity and Judaism to the best of my ability. I have to live with the fact that it is going to be very difficult for me to find a community of people who believe the same things I do. I can't afford to be intolerant of differing beliefs. But even if I had the largest faith community in the world, I would learn nothing without the input of those who disagree with me.
It seems to me that there are so few people who understand, or who are willing to understand. We all have these preconceived notions of what a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Baha'i (I could go on) is and fundamentally believes. Maybe if we asked sometime, we would be surprised.
Anyway, that's my two cents for the time being.
Peace and Love,
AGW
It's no wonder that people harbor such hatred for the Christian faith. I hate to admit it, but I definitely talk shit about my fellow Christians. In fact, I dislike to recognize them as practicing the same faith that I do -- their Christianity doesn't look like my Christianity. Hell, even the term "Christian" burns me like acid. The name Jesus makes me cringe. And yet, this is a faith that I belong to and willingly except. It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?
I suppose I would call myself a follower of Jesus. He's definitely not the one I take issue with. He had some pretty good things to say. So what do I call myself? A Follower of He Who Must Not Be Named? You Know Who? I feel like Harry Potter is going to jump out and accuse me of being a Death Eater.
But sometimes, that's what it feels like. Simply because I am an Episcopalian, because I grew up hearing stories about That Guy, we'll call him יֵשׁ֡וּעַ (Jeshua), I am associated with that dirty word. That word that means hellfire and brimstone. That word that means intolerance and ignorance. That word that means just plain stupidity for even thinking there was something else out there.
Now don't get me wrong, I am under no illusions that I am being or have even been persecuted for my faith. The plight of the Jewish and the Muslim people of the world is no where near comparable to my own.
So where do I stand? How do I deal with this small scale misunderstanding that, regardless of its size, seems to eat me to the core? What do I do when I am told that all Christians are just really bad Jews who do good deeds only so that they can get to heaven? What do I do when someone randomly points out to me that as a Muslim, they can practice Jewish rituals, but that Christian ones are completely off limits, and one of the worst things a Muslim can take part in?
To those who fear me or hate me because I am a Christian, I say: I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BE CHRISTIAN! I DON'T EVEN EXPECT YOU TO BE RELIGIOUS! Believe in something, don't believe in something, that's up to you. But please don't try to single me out because my beliefs are different that yours.
I am simultaneously practicing Christianity and Judaism to the best of my ability. I have to live with the fact that it is going to be very difficult for me to find a community of people who believe the same things I do. I can't afford to be intolerant of differing beliefs. But even if I had the largest faith community in the world, I would learn nothing without the input of those who disagree with me.
It seems to me that there are so few people who understand, or who are willing to understand. We all have these preconceived notions of what a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Baha'i (I could go on) is and fundamentally believes. Maybe if we asked sometime, we would be surprised.
Anyway, that's my two cents for the time being.
Peace and Love,
AGW
Friday, September 24, 2010
New Blog!
So a group of friends and I are starting a new blog called Hypothetical Happenings of Historical Figures. Basically, it will be a forum where the four of us can geek out on all things history.
If you are interested in checking it out (which you most definitely should be), click HERE.
Hopefully there will be more posts from me in the near future. I'm pretty bad at this whole blogging thing. Hopefully my friends will keep me motivated on our group blog, and I will then be motivated to post on here.
Till next time,
AGW
If you are interested in checking it out (which you most definitely should be), click HERE.
Hopefully there will be more posts from me in the near future. I'm pretty bad at this whole blogging thing. Hopefully my friends will keep me motivated on our group blog, and I will then be motivated to post on here.
Till next time,
AGW
Sunday, September 19, 2010
listen
sometimes i long for someone to talk to
for my soul to be understood
i dread that glazed look they get in their eye
the fear that makes them back away
they misunderstand
my excitement bears no need to convert
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Checking In
It's been quite a while since my last post. I'm still continuing with my Fair Trade Chocolate only thing while trying to spread the message without sounding too preachy.
I've been focused lately on getting back to school. I leave to head back in a little over a week, and I'm both excited and sad. I can't wait to see all of my friends, move into my new house, cook in my new kitchen, and start all of my classes. However, I will be sad to leave my family, my city, and my room. It's been a good summer, despite some rough times because of my father's back injury. It's been a little hot for my taste lately, so I'm looking forward to the next week of gray skies and rain. I'd like some good Seattle weather before heading back to warm Eastern Washington.
I've been making some cute little felt creations lately. So far, I've made 3 owl pins and an octopus. I'll post pictures if I remember.
I've been missing Doctor Who, since the season ended in June. I've been watching Seasons 1-3 with my dad, and soon we will start Season 4. Better hurry, or we won't finish before I go back!
Anyway, that's all for now.
AGW
I've been focused lately on getting back to school. I leave to head back in a little over a week, and I'm both excited and sad. I can't wait to see all of my friends, move into my new house, cook in my new kitchen, and start all of my classes. However, I will be sad to leave my family, my city, and my room. It's been a good summer, despite some rough times because of my father's back injury. It's been a little hot for my taste lately, so I'm looking forward to the next week of gray skies and rain. I'd like some good Seattle weather before heading back to warm Eastern Washington.
I've been making some cute little felt creations lately. So far, I've made 3 owl pins and an octopus. I'll post pictures if I remember.
I've been missing Doctor Who, since the season ended in June. I've been watching Seasons 1-3 with my dad, and soon we will start Season 4. Better hurry, or we won't finish before I go back!
Anyway, that's all for now.
AGW
Friday, June 25, 2010
Slavery and Chocolate in 2010
Here is an article posted March 25, 2010 detailing current trends in the Chocolate Industry and West Africa. While this shows some progress, it is clear that child slavery is still a large issue.
http://www.foodingredientsfirst.com/product-by-sector/Chocolate-Confectionery/Child-Slave-Labor-in-Cocoa-Unearthed-in-BBC-Program.html
http://www.foodingredientsfirst.com/product-by-sector/Chocolate-Confectionery/Child-Slave-Labor-in-Cocoa-Unearthed-in-BBC-Program.html
Thursday, June 24, 2010
More on Slavery and Chocolate
Hey y'all. I've been getting a few questions about where the chocolate is coming from, how much of the world's chocolate is slave chocolate, and what chocolate is safe. A lot of that information is available in the documentary I posted, but if you don't feel like watching it, I certainly don't blame you! From what I have gathered, when this documentary was made, about 60% of the world's chocolate came from the Ivory Coast, where they use child slaves. This means that almost all chocolate has likely been tainted with cocoa from the Ivory Coast.
I say almost all, because there is some chocolate out there that is safe. If you are ever in Europe, you might be able to find Tony Chocolonely slave free chocolate, however for those on this side of the pond, I recommend buying fair trade chocolate. Organic chocolate is also possibly safe because growing organic requires more supervision and stricter rules than growing non-organic.
I know that I will be giving up all non-fair trade and non-organic chocolate in the hopes of making a difference, as well as spreading the message. I'm definitely going to miss my peanut M&M's but it doesn't seem worth it. My temporary enjoyment of candy for the enslavement of a child? I don't think so.
For those of you who argue that this may not be definite, that this slavery may not be as prolific as suggested, I would rather be safe than sorry. I will note that this is a personal choice, but I highly urge you to do the same. Any small change in your normal lifestyle can make a difference.
Peace and Chocolate,
AGW
I say almost all, because there is some chocolate out there that is safe. If you are ever in Europe, you might be able to find Tony Chocolonely slave free chocolate, however for those on this side of the pond, I recommend buying fair trade chocolate. Organic chocolate is also possibly safe because growing organic requires more supervision and stricter rules than growing non-organic.
I know that I will be giving up all non-fair trade and non-organic chocolate in the hopes of making a difference, as well as spreading the message. I'm definitely going to miss my peanut M&M's but it doesn't seem worth it. My temporary enjoyment of candy for the enslavement of a child? I don't think so.
For those of you who argue that this may not be definite, that this slavery may not be as prolific as suggested, I would rather be safe than sorry. I will note that this is a personal choice, but I highly urge you to do the same. Any small change in your normal lifestyle can make a difference.
Peace and Chocolate,
AGW
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Slave Free Chocolate
Here is the trailer for the documentary, Tony and the Chocolate Factory:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWzJR5KfdMc
Here is a link to the documentary. Unfortunately, a lot of the video is not in English.
http://vimeo.com/11817131
To visit the Tony Chocolonely website, you can go to http://www.tonychocolonely.nl/. Unfortunately the website is not in English, but I have emailed the company at info@chocolonely.nl to suggest that they make Tony's message available in English as well so that it can reach an ever growing audience in America. If this message has affected you in any way, please do the same.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KWzJR5KfdMc
Here is a link to the documentary. Unfortunately, a lot of the video is not in English.
Tony's chocolonely 1 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 1 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 1 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 2 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 2 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 2 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 3 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 3 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 3 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 4 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 4 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 4 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 5 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 5 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 5 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 6 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 6 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 6 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 7 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 7 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 7 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 8 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 8 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 8 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 9 part 1 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 9 part 2 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
Tony's chocolonely 9 part 3 from DahlTV on Vimeo.
http://vimeo.com/11817131
To visit the Tony Chocolonely website, you can go to http://www.tonychocolonely.nl/. Unfortunately the website is not in English, but I have emailed the company at info@chocolonely.nl to suggest that they make Tony's message available in English as well so that it can reach an ever growing audience in America. If this message has affected you in any way, please do the same.
The Pandorica Opens: Review, etc.
Here is a brilliant review of The Pandorica Opens on Behind the Sofa: http://www.behindthesofa.org.uk/2010/06/mad-man-in-a-box.html.
It raises a lot of really interesting questions and discusses the potential meaning of inconsistencies throughout this season. I can't wait to see what happens this next Saturday. The show is scheduled to air 6/26/2010, a brilliant move on the part of Moffat, as this is also Amy's Day and the day that the TARDIS is said to explode. I hope I won't be disappointed.
It raises a lot of really interesting questions and discusses the potential meaning of inconsistencies throughout this season. I can't wait to see what happens this next Saturday. The show is scheduled to air 6/26/2010, a brilliant move on the part of Moffat, as this is also Amy's Day and the day that the TARDIS is said to explode. I hope I won't be disappointed.
Monday, June 21, 2010
Monday, June 14, 2010
Doctor Who: The Lodger - Observations, Questions, and Musings
Observations:
Does anyone else think Matt Smith's hair needs a bit of a trim? It was fine last episode, but this week, it could have been the monster of the week. If his hair gets any wilder, I'll begin wondering if it is causing the cracks in time and space. Also, seeing the Doctor in shorts was slightly traumatic. I'm beginning to think that British people shouldn't wear shorts. It just doesn't seem proper. That and he has very very very white legs.
Questions:
What was the rot about? Why was it poisonous? While intriguing, it didn't seem to make sense with the rest of the storyline... but maybe I missed something. Also, the whole bit with the ring in the end. Since Rory was erased not only from memory, but from existence, why is the ring still there? Unless it has something to do with the fact that he left it in the TARDIS... And was he really erased from existence? I mean, that's what I was lead to believe after Flesh and Stone. I think I understand how he can still exist in the Doctor's memory, as he's all time-lordy, and how he was erased from Amy's memory because he existed on her personal timeline... but does his existence in the Doctor's memory mean that he wasn't erased from existence? We haven't really seen any other repercussions of his disappearance, except for Amy noting that she is not the marrying type. What about Amy's Choice and the other episodes in which he played a vital role? Hopefully all will be cleared up next episode, which looks like it is going to be brilliant.
Musings:
Am I the only one who wondered exactly what Amy was thinking at first when she picked up the ring? It wasn't until the crack in time and space started growing that I was almost sure she was trying to remember Rory. At first, I wondered if she thought the Doctor was planning on proposing. Let's hope that cliche scenario isn't planned for next episode, though I think we can be fairly certain it is not.
Does anyone else think Matt Smith's hair needs a bit of a trim? It was fine last episode, but this week, it could have been the monster of the week. If his hair gets any wilder, I'll begin wondering if it is causing the cracks in time and space. Also, seeing the Doctor in shorts was slightly traumatic. I'm beginning to think that British people shouldn't wear shorts. It just doesn't seem proper. That and he has very very very white legs.
Questions:
What was the rot about? Why was it poisonous? While intriguing, it didn't seem to make sense with the rest of the storyline... but maybe I missed something. Also, the whole bit with the ring in the end. Since Rory was erased not only from memory, but from existence, why is the ring still there? Unless it has something to do with the fact that he left it in the TARDIS... And was he really erased from existence? I mean, that's what I was lead to believe after Flesh and Stone. I think I understand how he can still exist in the Doctor's memory, as he's all time-lordy, and how he was erased from Amy's memory because he existed on her personal timeline... but does his existence in the Doctor's memory mean that he wasn't erased from existence? We haven't really seen any other repercussions of his disappearance, except for Amy noting that she is not the marrying type. What about Amy's Choice and the other episodes in which he played a vital role? Hopefully all will be cleared up next episode, which looks like it is going to be brilliant.
Musings:
Am I the only one who wondered exactly what Amy was thinking at first when she picked up the ring? It wasn't until the crack in time and space started growing that I was almost sure she was trying to remember Rory. At first, I wondered if she thought the Doctor was planning on proposing. Let's hope that cliche scenario isn't planned for next episode, though I think we can be fairly certain it is not.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Ed Norton at SIFF
Edward Norton made an appearance today at a screening of Leaves of Grass for the Seattle International Film Festival. He was kind enough to pop by for a Q&A after the show. He was brilliant, as always, and my front row seats had me practically tingling with excitement. I will admit, it was very strange to watch him on screen for two hours and then watch him walk out on stage. Altogether it was a great experience, and I got to ask one of my favorite actors a question.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Doctor Who: Cold Blood *SPOILERS*
While reading a recent review on Behind the Sofa, I stumbled across an interesting theory about the crack in time and space that has been almost too prominent in the latest season of Doctor Who. Stuart Ivan Burns seems to think that the crack in time and space was created by the TARDIS, that the Doctor's time traveling is finally taking its tole and tearing a hole in each of the locations that he travels to. This could be why the crack has appeared in each episode, many of the episodes featuring a peek of it as the TARDIS takes off. My only question is what of the crack in Amy's room when she was a little girl? It doesn't appear that the Doctor had been there before... then again, wibbly wobbly timey wimey. Also, what of that chunk of the TARDIS found within the crack - suggesting perhaps that an explosion or crash of the TARDIS created this crack. The idea of the Doctor without the TARDIS is mind blowing, and frankly something I hope I never have to see. Who knows what will come in the next few episodes. I've been really enjoying the new season, as well as Matt Smith, who is brilliant. Unfortunately this last episode has thrown me through a loop. The bit with Rory was odd and seemed unnecessary. We'll see what comes next week.
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