Early Morning Meditation

Wide awake at 7am with my prayer shawl strewn across my bed - what's that all about?

Wiggling, itching, and breathing characterized my introduction to this day. Today was the first of many meditation sessions via skype. It's part of a meditation class that my mom and I are attending (other than last night's meeting, I'm pretty much only attending the skype sessions since Walla Walla is so far away). Turns out I was the only one who showed up. Mom had a migraine and decided to skip this session, and I didn't have my webcam/microphone with me so it was pretty much just the rabbi talking to himself at the beginning and the end while I awkwardly typed my responses. Also, IMing with a rabbi? Weird.

Were were supposed to focus on a mantra for this meditation. He had already supplied us with a few, but the two I moved between were the Sh'ma and Modah, Ani L'faneicha. Now, I'm used to Buddhist meditation where we are told to try to clear our mind, and while I definitely struggle with that, I seemed to have a bit of trouble with focusing on a mantra as well. The words proved to be a bit distracting. My mind wanted to clear itself and just be, but I kept coming back to these words. Words that seemed to be more of a roadblock than a shortcut. I'm wondering if in the future I should start by trying to clear my mind, and once I have gotten to that calm, familiar place, then try to add the words in.

I will be interested to see how things change over the course of this week. I will also be interested to see if things will be different when I am back in my meditational space at school, rather than in a makeshift space in my room at home that is currently crowded by the addition of an extra bed frame and mattress. I swear, every time I come home, something new is being stored in my room. I'm hoping there isn't a fire, because it's pretty difficult to open my door without some serious finagling.

Anyway, that's pretty much all for now. I'm headed back to school today after a 4-day break, so my next post will likely be coming to you from Walla Walla.

AGW