Seriously.

Computer Crash :(

My poor Teresio is in a coma. He's a pretty old Toshiba, as laptops go (4 years), but he's been a great pal. Thankfully he can be fixed (at least that's what they tell me, and after some investigation, that seems to be the case). It's been weird not having a computer, and it makes skyping in to morning meditation at 6am rather difficult. My housemates have been lovely enough to leave a computer out for me to grab in the wee hours of the morning.

Needless to say, I'm unbelievably excited for my parents to come for Parent's Weekend (they get here tomorrow) so that my dad can perform the necessary surgical procedures on my beloved laptop. Unfortunately, that won't help me write my politics paper tonight. For now I'm stuck on a rented laptop, running Windows XP, from the Whitman Tech people. The slowness of the computer is making it hard to do research - it takes about 2 minutes for each PDF to fully load. Hence the blogging.

Hopefully there will be a new post coming soon on Hypothetical Happenings with Historical Figures about Angela Merkel, but that probably won't happen until this weekend (at the very earliest).

Well that's all for now!
AGW

Early Morning Meditation

Wide awake at 7am with my prayer shawl strewn across my bed - what's that all about?

Wiggling, itching, and breathing characterized my introduction to this day. Today was the first of many meditation sessions via skype. It's part of a meditation class that my mom and I are attending (other than last night's meeting, I'm pretty much only attending the skype sessions since Walla Walla is so far away). Turns out I was the only one who showed up. Mom had a migraine and decided to skip this session, and I didn't have my webcam/microphone with me so it was pretty much just the rabbi talking to himself at the beginning and the end while I awkwardly typed my responses. Also, IMing with a rabbi? Weird.

Were were supposed to focus on a mantra for this meditation. He had already supplied us with a few, but the two I moved between were the Sh'ma and Modah, Ani L'faneicha. Now, I'm used to Buddhist meditation where we are told to try to clear our mind, and while I definitely struggle with that, I seemed to have a bit of trouble with focusing on a mantra as well. The words proved to be a bit distracting. My mind wanted to clear itself and just be, but I kept coming back to these words. Words that seemed to be more of a roadblock than a shortcut. I'm wondering if in the future I should start by trying to clear my mind, and once I have gotten to that calm, familiar place, then try to add the words in.

I will be interested to see how things change over the course of this week. I will also be interested to see if things will be different when I am back in my meditational space at school, rather than in a makeshift space in my room at home that is currently crowded by the addition of an extra bed frame and mattress. I swear, every time I come home, something new is being stored in my room. I'm hoping there isn't a fire, because it's pretty difficult to open my door without some serious finagling.

Anyway, that's pretty much all for now. I'm headed back to school today after a 4-day break, so my next post will likely be coming to you from Walla Walla.

AGW

Religion? Oy Vey.

These are interesting times to be a Christian. These are even more interesting times to be a Christian who is embracing the Jewish faith. We are living in a time of increased politicization among right wing evangelical Christians and a time of growing Islamophobia in our nation, and in our world.

It's no wonder that people harbor such hatred for the Christian faith. I hate to admit it, but I definitely talk shit about my fellow Christians. In fact, I dislike to recognize them as practicing the same faith that I do -- their Christianity doesn't look like my Christianity. Hell, even the term "Christian" burns me like acid. The name Jesus makes me cringe. And yet, this is a faith that I belong to and willingly except. It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense, does it?

I suppose I would call myself a follower of Jesus. He's definitely not the one I take issue with. He had some pretty good things to say. So what do I call myself? A Follower of He Who Must Not Be Named? You Know Who? I feel like Harry Potter is going to jump out and accuse me of being a Death Eater.

But sometimes, that's what it feels like. Simply because I am an Episcopalian, because I grew up hearing stories about That Guy, we'll call him יֵשׁ֡וּעַ (Jeshua), I am associated with that dirty word. That word that means hellfire and brimstone. That word that means intolerance and ignorance. That word that means just plain stupidity for even thinking there was something else out there.

Now don't get me wrong, I am under no illusions that I am being or have even been persecuted for my faith. The plight of the Jewish and the Muslim people of the world is no where near comparable to my own.

So where do I stand? How do I deal with this small scale misunderstanding that, regardless of its size, seems to eat me to the core? What do I do when I am told that all Christians are just really bad Jews who do good deeds only so that they can get to heaven? What do I do when someone randomly points out to me that as a Muslim, they can practice Jewish rituals, but that Christian ones are completely off limits, and one of the worst things a Muslim can take part in?

To those who fear me or hate me because I am a Christian, I say: I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO BE CHRISTIAN! I DON'T EVEN EXPECT YOU TO BE RELIGIOUS! Believe in something, don't believe in something, that's up to you. But please don't try to single me out because my beliefs are different that yours.

I am simultaneously practicing Christianity and Judaism to the best of my ability. I have to live with the fact that it is going to be very difficult for me to find a community of people who believe the same things I do. I can't afford to be intolerant of differing beliefs. But even if I had the largest faith community in the world, I would learn nothing without the input of those who disagree with me.

It seems to me that there are so few people who understand, or who are willing to understand. We all have these preconceived notions of what a Christian, Muslim, Jew, Hindu, Baha'i (I could go on) is and fundamentally believes. Maybe if we asked sometime, we would be surprised.

Anyway, that's my two cents for the time being.

Peace and Love,
AGW